This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
