When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
