You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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