Whod you bang
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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