I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
