So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
