it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
