New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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