EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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