There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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