She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
