I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Even my vagina gasped.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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