im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Actions speak louder than pants.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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