i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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