does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
