you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
