If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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