she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
