I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
