i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
