My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
