god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
