How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
