Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize