does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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