nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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