ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
