i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
