Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
