Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
