Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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