i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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