Please, let me fuck your mom
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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