I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
