she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
