at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
