i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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