fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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