My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
