We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
