Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
