Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He kissed a someone with a penis
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
my poor anus
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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