first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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