dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
