this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
