im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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