I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
