I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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