Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
