Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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