Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
