Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
