What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
