hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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