My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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